YOUR EMOTIONAL LIFE POP QUIZ

 by Pamela Levin   
 Teaching & Supervising Transactional Analyst Emeritus

 Do you want to

          feel better about yourself

          have better relationships and

          better outcomes in life?

If so, you'll need to start on the inside, with your emotional life.  To start, take this pop quiz to assess your own emotional strengths and weakness. Together these are what make up your emotional intelligence (EQ), and your EQ is what determines how you fare in all three of the above areas.  

There are six sections of questions. Each set of questions addresses one part of your emotional life. Together they make up the overall score for your emotional intelligence.
 

Answer each question as honestly as you can.  Remember this information is for your own use.  You don’t have to share it with anyone and you will not be graded! 

Accept your scores with a loving and compassionate attitude toward yourself and with  openness and curiosity about where your strengths lie and where the places are you can strengthen to raise your EQ even more.  We are all works in progress, and you are no exception!  So, with as much kindness and gentleness toward yourself as you can possibly muster, take the quiz, and enjoy! 

In the blank before each stage, rate how well or poorly you do with each of them by choosing a number between 0 (the lowest score) and 10 (the highest score).  Remember,  this is not about being perfect or having to measure up, or failing to achieve or competing with others. Your total score in each section  is merely an indicator of where you stand in terms of needing to nourish that part of yourself. When you do so, you’ll have the emotional strength to carry out the growth tasks for that area of EQ. And raising that particular score will in turn contribute to your total EQ score.  

These are ingredients that make up EQ for everyone, and everyone does better with them at some times than at others.  Use this information to take care of yourself – to learn to nourish your emotional self so you can create a personal EQ that promotes feeling good about yourself, sustains you in creating healthy, supportive relationships and provides what you need for smooth life passages in all your life seasons. 

                                                    On a scale from 0 (lowest) to 10 (highest): 

My Existence and the Basic Ground of My Emotional Life 

I am able to: 

_____Create the bonds with others that sustain me 

_____Discern and decide for myself when to trust 

                                 and when not to trust 

_____Know what I feel – whether scared, sad, mad, glad. 

_____Be aware of when I am tired or hungry  

                           and take care of myself accordingly. 

My current score is ________out of a total possible score of 40. 

My Intuition and World of Senses and Action 

_____I am able to: 

_____Find ways to satisfy my curiosity in healthy ways 

_____Provide for enough variety in my life to keep myself refreshed 

_____Balance sufficient activity with times of adequate rest 

_____Maintain my sustaining connections with others while exploring. 

My current score is ________out of a total possible score of 50. 

My Thinking and Boundary-Making Self 

I am able to: 

_____Know where I stop and someone else begins 

_____Create and maintain healthy boundaries 

_____Recognize others’ boundaries and respect them  

                      whether or not I like or agree with them 

_____Think about myself, my own life, my own problems 

                        and think to find solutions 

_____Be responsible for my commitments, including  

                          my word with other people. 

My current score is ________out of a total possible score of 50. 

My Self-Identity in My Social World 

I am able to: 

_____Establish who I am in a group of others without overpowering 

                               or alienating  others or giving up myself 

_____Explore my ability to affect others in positive ways 

_____Update my sense of self and who I am rather  

                               than being rigid, fixated 

_____Move from periods of uncertainty about myself  

                                and my role in the social world to become  

                                at peace with who I am 

_____Accept and deal with the consequences of my own behavior 

_____Allow others to accept and learn from the consequences  

                                of their own behavior –or not learn, as they choose. 

My current score is ________out of a total possible score of 60. 

                                                          My Skill Sets and How-to’s for Life 

I am able to: 

_____Periodically update my skills 

_____Review what I value as I grow older, and reset my priorities 

_____Exhibit tolerance for others’ ways of doing things 

_____Contribute to society in positive ways 

_____Disagree with others without blaming or criticizing them 

_____Recognize and respectfully decline invitations to be used. 

My current score is ________out of a total possible score of 60.

                                   Creation and Procreation in My Emotional Life 

I am able to: 

_____Adjust to my changing sexual maturity in healthy ways as I grow through 

                              early, middle and older adulthood. 

_____Accept increasing responsibility for the contents of my life and make the changes  

                              I deem necessary to carry them out 

_____Express my creativity in ways that are healthy for me and for society 

_____Find ways to stand up to social injustice that do not harm me or others 

_____Recognize that the world does not owe me a living, and  

                               stand on my own two feet; support myself 

_____Accept support from others and support others in mutually 

                               beneficial exchanges 

_____Take responsibility for my own health and well-being  

                                and make the life adjustments that will maintain them.  

_____Acknowledge that my own reservoir of personal pain  

                                exists and take effective steps to heal it. 

My current score is ________out of a total possible score of 80. 

 Totaling 

 My biggest emotional strength is in the above area of __________________________________. 

 My lowest score, where I can focus my efforts to achieve the most improvement in my emotional life  is __________________________________________________________________. 

 Adding all my scores together, out of a possible score of 340, my overall score is __________________________________________________________________. 

 If I focus my efforts in the area of my lowest score, I can raise my emotional life score total to _______________________________________. 

Remember: with each one point you raise your emotional life score, you can open healthier and exciting new horizons in your ongoing life journey.  

To learn how these emotional skills unfold in your life, go here:  The Cycle of Life

To find out how to improve your scores in any of these areas,  go here:  Cycles of Power

All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2007. 2016 by Pamela Levin
Excerpted from The Cycle of Life: Creating Smooth Passages in Every Life Season

Copyright © 2017 by Pamela Levin   

 All Rights Reserved.